Relationships part 2

It has come to my attention that I am pretty bad at dealing with my friends' relationship problems or relationship issues, honestly the reason why I don't care is because frankly relationships are not a priority in my life right now. Many friends come to me whenever they have problems and I have learned from experience not to say anything that I would normally say because said friends will only get mad at me for being me. To me I don't want to come off as frigid or cold when it comes to relationships, because I do want one eventually in my hopefully 100 year old life, but right now it is just not a priority, I don't want one , I don't need one, I don't feel that one is necessary to continue on in life. I give advice based on how I perceive what is important in life, and I do not think that a relationship is the main priority in college, college is meant for learning and for procuring a future, and if that said relationship is a hindrance in your path to your future then get rid of it, it is not worth your time, it is not worth your future. If you are in a relationship that you are doing fine in, no problems, no conflict, all love, then by all means proceed into your journey of love because relationships that only have love in them have no space for wasted time and wasted emotions. There is no point in crying over spilled water, that water's gone, just pour yourself some more water. Don't come to me if you want someone to sympathize with you in a relationship, I can't help. I do not possess the ethos in being able to help you, I have never been in a relationship and therefore I do not have any prior knowledge to hep you with.

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-Eric Kim

Class

Class is so draining physically and mentally

I went to sleep at 11-30 yesterday, and I woke up and then I went back to sleep and then I woke up again, I really don't know why I can't get a proper night's sleep. Whether im doing homework or whether im studying for a test, or whether my roommates snoring, i just want a decent night's sleep. so sad so bad

So tired

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-Eric Kim

BZ

I hate studying I really do, doesn't give me proper time to fill out a proper blog, with proper thoughts. I can't wait to go home and sleep in a proper bed and eat a proper meal and be around proper people.

Discover...

Myself

BREAK TIME!!!!

So as I sit in Gateway writing my clearly overdue essays, I feel like I need to write about something not academic, and so I shall.

and the topic shall be....

God's gifts to the individual person.

I believe or I shall choose to believe that God has blessed each and every single individual with some type of talent or gift. Be it dancing, singing, sports, orations, or what not.

I know that some who do not believe in God believe that practice can make anything perfect, but in my 18 years of life as a Christian (although I can't say i've been Christian for all 18 years), I can't agree with those who do not believe in God.

I think that God has blessed each and everyone of us with a talent that we have to find ourselves, that we have to work to achieve, but most definitely it is there within us.

For example some people are BORN to dance like my SPOP staffer and inspiration, Marissa Osato. Watching her dance inspires me and awes me, and I believe her talent is the product of God's benediction, her own dedication, and her own passion for the art of dance.

I have yet to discover my own gift, probably because of my lack of dedication to try and find it.

There are times when I think that God has blessed with me the gift of singing, but then again I am not very good at singing, so I push that aside. And being introduced to the world of dance I hope that my "gift from God" is dancing. JUST starting to dance, I will not make a judgement yet, I will continue to strive to become better, and if I do not get better I guess dancing is not the thing for me.

Whenever I hear an amazing voice, I am inspired to start singing again, but I have experienced many disappointments when it comes to singing. I was rejected constantly from group after group in high school, yet the people around me told me that I had a decent voice, I did not know which group of opinions to believe. On one side people that "know" the talent of the voice have judged me and declared that I was not good enough, and on the other hand people that care about me say that I DO have a voice. Knowing that my friends and family would probably avoid trying to hurt me I decided to believe that I was not talented enough, and completely gave up on singing. And it also seems that many of the opportunities that I was presented to sing, were shot down. One example is the Benefit Concert of 2009 that I was planning on auditioning for. I practiced for a couple weeks with Rilla Peng, and for the first time in a long time I felt that I was good at singing, but then a day or two before the audition I was, I guess I could say cursed with some sort of throat infection and could not audition. Was it God's wish that I not sing? Or was it just a fluke illness, I guess I will never know, but after that I put aside singing. Yet each time I hear someone on youtube, or hear someone in person that other people think are good, I think to myself (not to sound conceited) "wow I know I am better than that person."

Whether it is dancing or singing, or probably something else that does not have to do with performing, God HAS blessed me with something, and hopefully I will be able to find that in the remaining 3 and a half years that I have left of college.

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-Eric Kim

My parents

Before I go full throttle study mode and productive mode, I think I am going to write about parents. The reason I am writing about parents is because while I was eating lunch at commons today, I overheard this girl complaining about her parents. Although what I am about to recall is not word for word or dead on it basically summarizes what she said: "I asked my dad to give me money so I could buy something I wanted, and he only gave me 20$, like omg how am I supposed to buy anything with 20$ my dad's so dumb."

^That completely irritated me. What kind of rude and disrespectful person talks about her parents that way. Obviously she has not learned the values of life, because she has not learned that parents have sacrificed everything in order to provide for their children.

I have much more to say about my parents in particular, but it will have to wait, because for the next 3 hours I am going to work my ass off to get SOME work done.

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-Eric Kim

Amigos

I know i've had the best of friends for the longest time, but there are those times when I find myself saying to my self "wow I am so blessed to have such amazing people as my friends."

Whenever my friends talk to me about the problems that are going on in their lives, they never forget to ask how I AM doing in MY LIFE. People that care enough to ask how I am doing even though they have come to me for advice, are the people that I call my friends.

I think I am a very interesting person, in the sense that I am not a normal person, I honestly think it is very hard for someone to get close to me, and I do not loosely throw around the term "friend." A reason for this reluctance to automatically accept people as my friends, I do not know. I have never thought of my "hard to get close to" personality characteristic as a burden or a curse, actually I think of it as a blessing, because it will only let me acquire and meet friends that are filled with merit.

For anyone that has met me recently, and has made attempts at becoming my friend or trying to get closer to me, keep trying, because although I might come off as a "cold person" sometimes, I am trying to to become friends with you.

And to any of my current friends that might read this, I thank God every single day that I have people like you in my life that talk to me, laugh with me, EAT with me, look after me, and care for me.

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-Eric Kim

Random thoughts at 2:30 in the morning

No I am not up because I was partying, drinking, "going crazy", etc.

I am because I was trying to study for my midterms that are coming up in the following two weeks. Studying in a college dorm is ridiculously harder than you could imagine. There are always people talking, there are always people boozing, there are always people partying, there are always just PEOPLE.

Of course I know I have to put up with such accommodations because my parents have blessed me by letting me stay in the dorms even though I live in Irvine.

I am not a big fan of drinking or partying for many reasons, that I simply do not have the energy or effort to list out, but basically I think the latter mentioned past times are really stupid and a waste of time. Yah everyone is always talking about the "college experience," but does it necessarily involve the imbibing of alcohol? In my opinion no. To me the "college experience" involves living life without the protection that is our parents, to me the "college experience" is growing up, to me the "college experience" is finding ourselves and developing a personal identity that we will be able to call our own for decades to come.

I know my parents are not paying thousands of dollars of hard earned money for me to go drinking and partying all the time, they are working and almost slaving over their jobs so that they can give me an education that will pave the way for a successful future. My parents have always told me education is one of the only ways for a successful future, and hopefully I can prove that and show them that I am capable of being a capable son. I intend to graduate with esteemed honors, and for that to happen I don't see getting plastered every week (maybe even every day for some) in my grand scheme of things.

Why am I talking about this? Well for one reason, I am surrounded by the presence of partying and drinking and I find it sort of trashy in my honest opinion. Moderation is a beauty, but when you go over board you come off as trashy, and trashy and class are worlds apart. I guess the reason of this particular blog, is my opinion on drinking alcohol. Many people might call me a loser or an outsider for choosing not to drink or "party" but I do not think drinking is necessary to make friends and for sure it is not necessary to have a good time.

Why do people drink? Do they have such boring and uninteresting personalities that they have to watch each other throw up and get wasted and not act like themselves to have a good time? Yah I don't think so, "a good time" for me is talking with my friends, playing games with my friends (that do not involve a cup, a ping pong ball, or alcohol), having an interesting conversation, making people laugh and laughing because of people, not because of alcohol.

You know what by all means drink and be happy if thats what you think real happiness is, but that is not how I think happiness and entertainment should be achieved. Call me a prude, call me a loser, call me a party pooper, but you will never find a picture of me with "asian glow" and unaware that a picture is being taken of me. (or not until I am 21)

Why do people need to drink so early? I mean first years in college are all around the age of 18 is 3 years such a long time to wait? I mean we waited four years in high school to get into college, i'm pretty sure another three years wouldn't hurt.

Oh joy more studying for tomorrow.

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-Eric Kim

P.S.

I miss the friends I made in high school.

Why do you spit on the people that pour their lives into you?

I really dislike people who disrespect their parents. No i do not dislike, I think i can say i hate people who disrespect their parents. How dare they disrespect the people that have poured their own blood, sweat, tears, pains, hardships out to raise us?

Even i myself can say that i have disrespected my parents, but i have learned from my 18 years of living (and i berate myself for not growing up and realizing sooner) that our parents basically live their lives to serve us, to protect us, and care for us.

Whenever I see or hear people disrespect or act rudely to their parents i am furious inside, I can't act out because it will only make the parents feel bad. Calling a child out on being rude to their parents only make the parents look bad, because after all it is the parent that raised them, and by calling the child out, the parent will only feel worse.

It is our duty as children to take care of our parents, when they are unable to care for themselves anymore. Parents spend decades taking care of us using money they could be using for themselves on us.

There are so many things that parents do for their children, and to list them all would require an eternity.

We should not learn respect from our parents, but we should learn to respect our parents, we need to learn the respect ourselves.

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-Eric Kim

MY definition of a friend

What is a friend?

In my opinion a friend is someone that shares interesest with you, someone that enjoys talking with you, someone you enjoy talking to, and someone who you feel you can confide in.

A friend is someone who will continue to try to keep in contact with you no matter the distance, no matter the obstacles.

A friend is someone who will try to put your need above their own, when you are in need of a friend, and you should reciprocate such actions to your friend.

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, but not for today

-Eric Kim

Why? What? Huh?

Too much on my mind right now to write something of substance...

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-eric kim

Sometimes...

Sometimes I am just annoyed or irritated by almost everyone around me, is it bad that I feel this way? Honestly I can't answer my question for myself, I know that if I expressed my irritation directly at everyone I would just come off as being mean or "bitchy" (as some people refer to it). But human beings are not perfect, there are just some times when we need to be left alone to our own devices if only for a slight amount of time.

On a side note, the dance concert was fun as always. I would just like to note that Hannah Webster, Michelle Kim, and Nana Matsumoto were exceptionally excellent tonight.

On another side note (lol), I guess twenty units is really starting to get to me. I started feeling tired mentally and physically at around 9ish tonight, and I usually crash at around 12.

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-Eric Kim

A Lack of Manners is Overrated

Although chivalry has been long gone and has died years ago, the existence of politeness and manners is alive, yet in this day and age it is slowly flickering away like the candle on a birthday cake.

There used to be a time when manners were everything, and without them you could not get anywhere in life, and this long gone epoch is way before the mere almost two decades that I have lived through.

I just feel that manners should come back into style, not only would society benefit, but ANYONE could benefit with the presence of someone well styled in manners and politeness.

There have been far too many occasions where:

-someone sitting behind me in the bus pushes to get off first (yes we realize you are in a rush, but so are all the 50 some other people in the bus with you, so wait your turn one or two seconds is not going to be devastating)

-while waiting in line, a flock of friends cuts in front of you because they know someone who so happens to be ahead in the line (think about how many people you are cutting, think about how many dirty looks you are getting, think about how dirty your reputation (albeit probably already dirty) is getting

-someone is talking to another person, and some other person starts talking to the person you were talking to (like really? that is very rude, you will get your turn, honestly just wait for them to finish)

-While waiting at Guppy's to get your name written down, someone walks in front of you and takes your spot

-Bumps into you without saying sorry

-Does not say thank you for any act of kindness

-Not tipping when a waiter/waitress has been treating you exceptionally

When any of this happens to you, try to KINDLY mention to this offender of their offense, and if they rudely react to you they are not worth your time, and if they oblige to your concerns and thank them and go your separate ways.

Saying something like "hey we were waiting in line for a long time, I really don't think that you should be cutting," is not a rude thing to say, it is a phrase of common sense.

Don't let people walk all over you, stand up for yourself, God created us with a spine for a reason, stand up straight and assert yourself, because most of the time people who are rude are just forgetful, and by reminding them of their rudeness is just a lesson learned, not a stone thrown.

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No mas por hoy!

-Eric Kim

Hey hey you you I don't like your girlfriend/boyfriend...

It has come to my attention that throughout my 18 years of living on this planet, that many (not all) people young and old feel that a girlfriend/boyfriend is necessary to make their lives complete. I honestly do not think that said "spouse" is necessary to live a fulfilling life, God did not create us with the intention of us being alone for the rest of our lives, so let time pass and let love find YOU, don't go looking for love. I know that I do not have any personal experience with a girlfriend or being in a relationship, but I have never felt a pang of loneliness because I did not have a girlfriend/"spouse." If you're reading this and you ARE involved in a relationship, by all means pursue, continue, cherish, and persevere through it, but if you happen to be "alone" rethink about the other people in your life like friends and family. Friends and family both start with f for a reason...they are there FOR you...hahahha lame alliteration I know, but seriously don't feel like a girlfriend/boyfriend is something you NEED to have, every time you tell a friend that you're "lonely this" and "lonely that" that just makes the friend think or feel "umm...do I not count as something?" Let's think of it or put it this way, pretend your life is like one of those catching games with the claw that you have to pick up those toys with. You are one of those toys, surrounded by your fellow (toys) who you have lived with for the longest time, just wait and eventually that "claw" will pick you up and you'll find your love. But always remember all the other "toys" sat and waited WITH you, and will always be a part of you, so never forget that.

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for today,

-Eric Kim

So...

So i've been labeled as writing a hate blog, gawd I love how the 21st century is filled with labels, but to be labeled as the author of a hate blog, now that just feels SOOO nice. I have been referred to as "Blogger X," please if you're going to write about someone at least use their correct birth given name, Kevin Chen, my name is Eric Kim. I did not delete you from my Facebook because I did not "have the balls," I actually deleted you a couple days ago, because we don't talk anymore and i've actually been going through my friends list deleting people I no longer communicate with, and yes, it is MY website of communication, and it is with MY discretion that I will and will not delete people. Before I wrote my blog, I publicly mentioned you in my Facebook status so yes I in fact do have the male genitalia you suggested that I lack. There are many points I would like to get across to you:

1. I never told you to change the way you blog, after all this IS a blog, an online journal for OUR own personal thoughts, and all I was doing was conveying MY personal thoughts.

2. Thank you VERY much for giving me a refresher on the "5 paragraph essay" technique of concrete detail followed by commentary; I appreciate you copying and pasting what I wrote, but I DID after all write what you so politely copied and pasted, and DO NOT need to see MY WORDS pasted all over YOUR blog.

3. You are a walking example of hypocrisy, calling me a hypocrite is understandable, because I myself mentioned my hypocritical behavior.

4. Twisting words? really now, I don't twist words. When and where in my blog did I every mention unhealthy habits. I spit words out like a gun spits out bullets, I know that this might get me in "sticky situations," but I mean every single letter, word, and sentence that comes out of my mouth.

5. Don't blatantly call me a liar, when I KNOW for a fact that what I said was the truth. YES, you have commented on my acne, weight, hair, and clothing, WHY would I make something up like that, I am BEYOND LIES, we are in college, don't call me a fabricator when you yourself are the one who is lying, i am BEYOND "teacher, he stole my cookie" (when you in fact dropped your cookie).

6. Please for your well-being, and for those around us grow up, we are ADULTS. (I hope that the following incidents, you do not indulge in anymore, for they are all occurrences that happened in high school and you are in college now, albeit a much better university than I am in)

-Go around telling girls to move their binders so you can look at their breasts.

-Laughing whenever you hear something related to sex.

-Come DOES NOT mean CUM

-Try not to assume, because when you do it makes and ASS out of U not ME

-There ARE girls your age, I know once before you said "all the girls my year are beat," but like I said before, physical appearance is naught. Constantly trying to pursue a relationship with girls 2 and 3 years your junior is EMBARRASSING, and especially to lose both of those

girls to the SAME guy (one year your junior), is exceptionally embarrassing. BY NO MEANS AM I NEGATIVELY COMMENTING ON THOSE TWO GIRLS

7. It flatters me that you devoted an ENTIRE blog entry about ME, oh *blushes* i'm far from perfect. At least in my entry, I talked about my opinion on physical appearance, whilst in yours you just talked about plain old simple me.

8. I'm sorry for sounding so repetitive, but DO NOT call me a liar, when I clearly (according to the opinion of others) am not.

9. I actually DO have respect and pride for myself, I just choose not to convey it in the way that you do.

10. What is it that you might say? OH yah "don't get butt hurt" by what I said, its not you that I personally hate, but people like you.

People have always told me you irritated them, and they have just never said anything to you about it, I guess I'm going to be one of the first to do so. You are not God's (or any other higher power's) gift to mankind, we are not here to please you, we are not here for you to tell how to act or dress. An opinion is an opinion so you are more than entitled to mouth away, but do so in a way that does not come off as arrogant or conceited. Narcissus, the Classical epitome of vanity, killed himself because his conceited nature drove him insane, I hope that no harm comes to you because of your narcissistic ways. One thought that might occur in your mind is that I do the same things you do, but no we are not the same, because I say my things with a tone of advice. Yes I did spend more time criticizing YOU, (not the way you blog), and no hard feelings, but its just what I think about you and your immature, insipid, self-righteous, and jejune antics. Have a FANTASTIC time at UCBerk, I hope your future is bright, something you currently are not.

PART TWO-----(the real blogging begins)

One thing that has always bothered me, or has been one of my petpeeves, is the existence of spoiled and ungrateful children/teens/adults, who have been blessed to be born into the world by wealthy parents. I guess my opinion on this matter might not have that much logos to it, being that I am not from a wealthy family, but my parents taught me well. Money is not something to be thrown around, it is earned, and when parents (being the benign humans that they are) offer you money for spending, do not wastefully spend it, but cherish every dollar, and cent that you are given. To complain about something you are given, when so many people in the world have nothing and are suffering is just plain ridiculous. It is one thing to mention your fortunes and benedictions of wealth, but it is completely another to brag about them, and this bragging is what tips me off the edge! Having learned very well from the hard working and heaven sent parents that I am extremely lucky to have, I do value each and every single drop of sweat and blood that they have sacrificed in order for me and my sister to live. I hope that one day, no I know that one day I will pay my parents back 100fold, and I hope that anyone that reads my blog, will realize that they are lucky with whatever they have, however small, and they should by forever grateful to their parents.

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for today,

Come back tomorrow :)

-Eric Kim (your every day friendly "bitch)

And so it begins...

This is my first blog, apart from Xanga (that ancient website that everyone used to always use), and I intend to write whatever happens to pop into my head day by day or if i feel like a dunce that day i'll just write about my opinion on a randomized subject.

Well anyways I decided to make this blog because my friend told me about this other person's blog and what he wrote about. So after karaokein with them i get on my comp and look at this person's blog. and what do i see? a shallow, vapid, and immature person's attempt at trying to come off as cool...

The one entry that my friend specifically told me about is this person's blog was about...how one should cover up their facial imperfections with bangs...yes someone who is far from perfect wrote a blog entry telling people how to style one's hair...

I don't know if its just me, but reading that post irritated the FUCK out of me...for many reasons, but i'm only going to write out 3

1. who does that person think he is

2. he himself is not a god among mortals, so who is he to tell other people how to appear

3. why bother wasting your time writing about such an impertinent aspect of life

This leads me to i guess would be my first "randomized subject": society's obsession with physical appearance

If you know me, you know you most Definitely know that i am always commenting on anything that can do with physical appearance, and i might seem hypocritical writing about it, but the truth of the matter is that i do not care about my own physical appearance (for i know i am an ugly and fat beast of a human being XD ) and that allows me to comment about physical appearance.

Looks are very unimportant in my opinion, i mean you aren't going to marry someone because of their looks, you're going to marry someone that you have things in common with, you're going to marry someone with a personality, you're going to marry someone that does not care about your looks, you're going to marry someone who loves you and who you love back, basically looks should not have anything to do with love/marriage/relationships.

The person previously mentioned in this post, in particular seems to think that LOOKS is what summates a person...

I remember throughout school this person would always comment on my acne, my weight, my hair, my clothing...

I mean really now why do you even waste your time, OBVIOUSLY you have WAY to much time on your hands to comment on the characteristics of ANOTHER person when you should be focusing on yourself

cuz....in my opinion (and the opinion of many others) you have acne too, you don't have the greatest body in the world, your hair looks nappy and is not aesthetically pleasing at all, and please i have more sense of fashion in my ass crack then you have in your whole body.

If you ever read this, please do grow up and do us all a favor.

And to anyone else who reads my blog, i hope you take this into account, and remember that looks dont determine a person, looks have nothing to do with anything in your life, its ok to clean up here and then, but don't let looks and physical appearance consume your life.

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for today,

Come back tomrow :)

-Eric Kim

P.S. (if i ever comment on your looks or clothes, BY ALL MEANS call me fat or ugly i'll appreciate it ;) )